Baker wedding illustrates circle of life

CBS Sunday Morning did a feature on Harry Chapin, the eloquent singer-songwriter who died tragically in a car accident in 1981 at the age of 38.

His song “Circle” came to mind, as Deb and I spent a weekend in which the circle of life seemed so evident to us. The song focuses on the cyclical nature of life, with lines like “All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown.” It explores the themes of recurring events, lost and found connections, and the continuous flow of time.

We drove across Iowa and part of Missouri to reach Quincy, Illinois at the Mississippi River to attend the wedding of Brenna Baker of Creston and Joseph McGaughey, a Quincy native. They are building their life there, where Brenna is an elementary teacher.

Attending a wedding, seeing all of the excitement in the faces of the couple that day, along with their friends and family, took us back to our roots in Atlantic. We were babies in our careers there as we met and fell in love. The wedding day in Fonda was such a wonderful experience.

We then drove across the country for two weeks with that same young sense of excitement about our lives ahead.

Along the way we had kids and grandchildren. I became a basketball coach and Brenna was on my first girls team in the winter of 2010-11 after more than a decade of coaching boys basketball.

As the father of two boys, that winter was a learning experience working with a squad of 22 junior high age girls. In our first game at West Central Valley the opposing team had two talented guards that made their fullcourt press effective.

After a couple of turnovers I substituted for Brenna so I could talk to her, rather sternly, to remind her of how our press break was designed. As I emphasized the key points and prepared to put her back in the game, I noticed tears as she nodded. I had made a player cry in my first game as a girls basketball coach.

At that moment I realized these were different people. They could be fierce competitors and be athletes just like the boys, no doubt. But, they also do their absolute best to do what you say and there are emotions if they feel they have disappointed you. I learned a lot that season.

Brenna and that team helped me become a better human. I stayed in girls basketball until this past season, when I finally hung up the whistle.

Later, after graduating from college, Brenna coached with me for two seasons as she began her teaching career in Creston. She had evolved into a mature, confident adult who was a demanding coach. She held kids accountable. I admired how far she had come since that afternoon at West Central Valley as a seventh grade player.

That was one circle of life moment, as we saw her walk down the aisle. Again, I saw tears, but this time they were tears of joy and love with her father Brad at her side.

Another circle of life moment was on the dance floor at the reception during the “Anniversary Dance.” All married couples were called to the floor, and then periodically asked to leave when the band leader gradually told couples to leave the floor based on their years of marriage.

When he said, “all those married 40 years or less, it’s your time to leave,” Deb and I were one of just a few couples left. We reached 43 years in May. Eventually, the last couple on the floor was married 58 years, and they had a picture taken with Brenna and Joe.

As we left the reception to make the drive to our son’s house in Davenport, we reflected on the day, remembering how it was all so different at age 68 compared to our special day in May 1982. Old age snuck up on us. Now we’re the old people at these events.

The circle of life. As the song says, “the years keep rolling by.”

If I have any advice for young couples like Brenna and Joe, it’s just that. Time moves in a flash, and suddenly you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re the old people. When you’re at our stage, going to our 50th high school class reunions this summer, you realize many of your peers don’t make it that far.

Consider yourselves among the lucky ones.

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Email: malachy.lp@gmail.com

X: @larrypeterson